A Little Reminder

On Sunday, we went to Dan’s grandparents’ church.  The pastor used I Peter 3 as a text.  His focus was not so much on expository preaching of the chapter, but he shared his own personal goals for “Keeping Love Alive” in marriage.  He based them on Bible principles, of course.  Here are the thoughts he shared:

1.  I married him/her so that I could be WITH him/her. 
I was tickled that here, Dan told me that this wasn’t an issue he had to work on.  His favorite times were already being with me.  🙂 

2.  Add the phrase, “I’d love to” to your vocabulary. 
This means conceding to do things for and with your spouse, even if you don’t really want to … I thought about all of Dan’s books & his love for browsing book stores.  I usually grudgingly go along – but it would be nice for him, if when he suggested a book browsing session, that I answered with, “I’d love to” – and NOT said in a sarcastic way with a lot of eye-rolling!!  😉

3.  All that is not music is silence.
I had to think about this one a while … and I’m still not sure I understand it.  Any thoughts? 

4.  Have a no-fault marriage.
This means letting go of blame.  The pastor told a story of how he & his wife were late for a flight on a vacation once because one of them got the take-off times mixed up.  To this day, he says, no one except the two of them know who was at fault in the mix up.  It was a mistake that affected them both, so they both just dealt with it graciously. 

5.  Never lose the romance.
That’s self explanatory, I guess.  The pastor did give the example that he often counsels men that if they only have $20 to their name, use $10 to buy groceries and use the other $10 to buy flowers … at which point, Dan said to me, “Forget the flowers, I know you’d want to go out to eat.”  He speaks my love language!!

6.  Have heart-to-heart talks.
This is a given – but it is something I’ve had to work on & am still working on.  The key to a good relationship is COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION COMMUNICATION.  Open, honest communication.  Know his heart; make sure he knows your heart.  

All in all, pretty good advice, I’d say!  
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2 Responses to A Little Reminder

  1. Mrs. Doug says:

    "All that is not music is silence"Interesting. When I read that the first thing I thought of was that music=harmony and rhythm. This makes me think of disharmony which is what happens when things are not going well in a marriage. Almost like a spouse giving you the silent treatment. Thankfully this never happens between Mr. D and I, but ve had friends whose husbands will not talk to them when they are angry… suppose they don't want to say the wrong thing, but it is just torture to a woman to have a silent spouse. I'd say music is the opposite of silence in a marriage. When there is harmony and rhythm what a joy it is, but when there is not harmony and rhythm… it is just silence.How's that for an explanation? …probably off the wall. I'm sure the preacher a much more spirtual explanation for this one.

  2. melanie says:

    "All that is not music is silence"?Did the preacher elaborate on that at all?? Here are a couple pages I found when I searched…http://lastalbums.com/2010/06/the-sleep-design-all-that-is-not-music-is-silence-2010.htmlhttp://cslewis.drzeus.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=7858The CSLewis (or MacDonald) quote is much more appealing. But I'm struggling to apply it to marriage…"…all noise comes of theconflict of Life and Death"yowsa ~ I am not able to think such deep thoughts today. Let me know what you & Dan come up with! I should just be a lurker on this one 😉

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