The Future is Bright

I’m trying to remember to brag on my husband these days … he’s a good guy!   🙂

This morning he took all 3 kids to Anna’s basketball game and will go by the library and grocery store afterward.  I will reward him by making the Pioneer Woman’s Sour Cream Enchiladas (though I’m adding shredded chicken) for lunch! 

So, I’m home alone, taking a moment to gather my courage to face all the tasks I need to tackle while Miriam isn’t underfoot.  Like clean the bathrooms … I can’t wait!  Ha! 

Back to the marriage theme, I wanted to share a little marriage advice someone very recently gave me that changed my whole perspective:

So, in the past, Dan and I have had our share of troubles (mainly propagated by my own selfishness – but also aggravated by his inability/unwillingness to understand where I was coming from).  In the last 3 years or so, we’ve really worked on communicating and getting past the dark time I went through (which in turn WE went through), and I keep saying that my goal in life is to now MAKE IT UP TO HIM.  I had this need to be an EXTRA super nice wife and to be especially good in order to make up for the wasted years of our marriage that I neglected him and us in general.

As I shared my story with a friend recently, she said something rather profound.  She said something like this:
“Has your husband ever said he expected you to ‘make up for the lost years’?  Does he think you OWE him?  What makes you feel like you have to do extra duty now to make up for the past?  Is Jesus like that?  Does he expect us to work harder to cover all our sins of long ago?  Or does Jesus just forgive – and forget?  Has your husband said he forgave you?  Did you forgive him?  Ok, then, what are you making up for?? START NEW today instead of continually dredging up the old over and over.” 

Does that make sense?!  It was kind of a “light bulb moment” for me … If my husband loves me unconditionally (and he does!) – as Jesus loves the church (Ephesians 5:25) – then WHY do I think I have to grovel and make up for everything wrong I’ve done or said in my past.  We’ve forgiven each other – and we’re moving ON together.  We’re NOT looking back – and me remembering all those ugly times that I failed means I am looking in the wrong direction.  Today is what matters and the future ahead of us!  It’s like our relationship with God too – He doesn’t want us to stay in our past – but to keep on learning & working for Him now.  The Bible speaks a lot about leaving our past and striving for our future: 

Philippians 3:13
Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended (achieved): but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before…

2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new…

AND one of my absolute favorites:
Lamentations 3:22-23
[It is of] the LORD’S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.

They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.

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One Response to The Future is Bright

  1. Michelle G says:

    Oh Conny – such good advice!Sigh…I'm sure I do the same thing with Jesus…try to be "better" than the past when he looks at me and says "What past?".Thank you for the reminder that when I try to "make up for the past" I'm just really digging up the past! Why is it sometime so hard to let go of something BAD?It's like the little black whip I keep wanting to whip myself with and yet…no one is requiring that but me.(I also have to be careful because I've seen my daughter be too hard on herself….and I know where she got it from. yikes.)Great post.Thank you!M

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