I Corinthians 13:4b, “…[Charity] is not puffed up …”
I think being “puffed up” goes right along with yesterday’s “vaunting” as boasting and arrogance are all sins of pride. The opposite of arrogance is HUMILITY. Martha Peace writes in The Excellent Wife:
“An arrogant heart is full of self-importance … [an arrogant wife] is opinionated and defensive when disagreed with, reproved, or corrected … A wife who is prideful is likely to hurt her husband deeply. Instead of arrogance, a wife should be a humble servant to her husband and to others, listen carefully to his opinion, and consider the possibility that she may be wrong or misinformed … ”
I bristled a little at Ms. Peace’s description – especially the part about “listen carefully to HIS opinion” and “consider the possibility that SHE may be wrong” … because I wanted to defend women everywhere with this thought: SOMETIMES it is the MAN (husband/other person) that is WRONG!!! However, I think that is where the LOVE part comes in. LOVE covers a multitude of sins (I Peter 4:8). AND even IF the MAN (husband/other person) is WRONG, I think there is a LOVING and RESPECTFUL way a wife can approach him – and then leave it up to God if he chooses to continue in his ignorance.
So, let’s look to A MAN’S OPINION on this matter. I checked into what Matthew Henry had to comment on this subject:
“Charity calms the angry passions, instead of raising them … It is not froward nor apt to be cross and contradictory.” Have you ever been in a “fight” with your husband or someone, and the more you talked, the more the situation ESCALATED – and the LOUDER the words got – and the >>>FASTER>>> the insults or accusation hurled – and the UgLiEr the situation got – all in the name of BEING THE ONE WHO IS RIGHT? (No, I haven’t been there either … I have NO IDEA what I’m talking about … *cough, cough* ahem.) Anyway … is being RIGHT worth destroying someone you love and your relationship? You might say YOU BET IT IS! Well, I’m thinking now that it’s pretty prideful … and arrogant according to what Mrs. Peace and Mr. Henry are saying (not to mention what THE WORD OF GOD is saying). The world says to STAND UP FOR YOURSELF; Jesus says HUMBLE YOURSELF IN THE SIGHT OF THE LORD … and HE will LIFT YOU UP (James 4:10).
And now that I’ve “preached” to myself yet again, I’m going to go lick my wounds yet again – and pray about working on these areas in my own life – and marriage – and all relationships God has put me in.