What is it about me & diets?

I can’t blame my mother … I can’t blame my Oma … I’m not so sure that I have anyone to blame except MYSELF …
but I love chocolate.  And I love homemade food.  And I love comfort food.  And I love restaurant food.  And I really do love food that is good for you like most fruits and vegetables (even brussel sprouts and broccoli!).
I have often said my love language is food.  At this point in my marriage, if my husband offered me a diamond necklace or a meal at some nice-ish restaurant, I’d pick the restaurant every time.  When my friends and I go out, it usually includes lunch or dinner somewhere “nice”.  I just enjoy it – being served, eating something flavorful and delicious, and just sitting around a table with someone I love being with.  Even though I know that in a few hours, I’ll have absolutely nothing to show for the money we spent, it is so worth that experience and that pleasure of indulging in good food and good company!
I don’t really cook well – but I am learning – and while I know we could offer a standard fare of “spaghetti, hamburgers, tacos, mac-n-cheese, repeat,” I really enjoy a meal that tastes good and isn’t just something processed out of a box.  This is one of my inspirations in my quest to learn to cook – to make flavorful, preferably healthy, and cost effective meals for my family.

 But my problem is that I also need to LOSE WEIGHT … I need to get my triglycerides down (I had an appointment to get my blood drawn today but I chickened out and canceled it).  I have a history of high blood pressure, insulin/glucose resistance, and thyroid problems.  It is all culminated in what is called “poly-cystic ovarian syndrome” which has been the root of my infertility issues and the metabolic syndrome that I blame for the fat around my waist (though also exacerbated by stress and the bad hormones and chemical balances it aggrevates!). 

 I have been told numerous times by trainers and people I’ve exercised with – and most recently by my Wii Fit analysis – that I have a good “muscle core”.  That is probably the only thing that keeps me from being obese – this I can thank my genes for!!  I am, however, overweight.  My oldest 2 children are overweight (according to growth charts) – and my husband is borderline overweight though he has recently lost 30 pounds (in about 2 weeks, it seemed, which is why I hate him … just kidding!!!!!). 

Oh, and I forgot to mention, though I have tried various programs in the past and once joined a gym, I hate to exercise.  The closest I’ve come to enjoying exercise was when I was a member of Curves (an exercise facility for women) or when I can walk – but around here, we don’t have any really nice, close-by walking tracks like we’ve had in the past when my husband and I would walk in the evenings – which was also before our children started school and life got so busy that we prefer to sit on the couch at night instead of move our tired, old selves IF we are even HOME at all…

I keep hoping one day I’ll get serious about my health and diet!  I have tried Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, NutriSystem, and Slim Fast with very little success.  I have tried low carb diet – and am currently convinced that a low sugar diet would probably be very good for me.  BUT I keep getting drawn in by cookies, chocolate, ice cream, and creamy, saucy pastas and buttery breads.  How can I give those up?  This is why I like the Weight Watchers concept – you don’t have to give them up, you just have to eat them in MODERATION!  But even then, like the Lay’s potato chip slogan, I can’t eat “just one.” 

So, I’ve tried not having sweet or my temptations in the house, but then I pick them up when I am at the store or go thru a drive-thru.  Fast food is NOT really my love language – and I am thankful I don’t have an attachment to salty foods or greasy things like french friends … but I can always find something at our local Panera drive-thru!!  A bagel, a pastry from their bakery (because I am a Panera Club member, I often have a discount!!) … mmmmm!!

I am sad that at my age, I still have such a lack of self control in this area.  I know my habits have been formed and indulged since I was a child … I spent summers in Germany where my Oma let me eat practically whatever I wanted, thinking she was doing me a favor.  My parents were more of the opinion that I should eat healthy -and they did not at all allow me to eat this way.   Thinking that finding a balance between eating healthy and eating treats, I have allowed my children to have cookies and desserts and snacks along with the healthy stuff (they too love fruits and veggies) – but I’ve seen how that has backfired and isn’t best for their health either. 

And if you’ve read my blog for a while, you know I hate drinking water.  I am a recovering diet coke addict, slowly weaning myself from the stuff because – yes – I do know how detrimental it is (google the effects of aspartame sometime and it won’t take long to convince you the stuff is LETHAL!!!).  AND YET:  I don’t do the right thing, I don’t make good decisions.  I’ve had friends offer to diet with me, keep me accountable – and it works for a while … but in the end, I panic and return to my old habits.

Lately, I’ve decided that the only way I will finally conquer my eating habits and stop going down this pathway to ill health is with GOD’S HELP.  I think for years I’ve tried to diet and exercise and be good on my own.  I obviously can not.  I need supernatural help!  I need God’s help.  And prayerfully, each day, I am working on surrendering my flesh and its desires for food – and while I know I will never give up my love for a good meal at a nice restaurant with my husband or friends, I know it is time to STOP this “sin”.  While I don’t think I am a glutton, I think my poor choices of food is sinful because it is not good for the “temple” of the body that God has given me. 

I sometimes joke that I will die fat but happy … but really, I don’t want to be fat and unhealthy.  If I am destined to be fat because of the sturdy German genes that I have been given, that’s ok … but I just want to be healthy.  I want to be a better example for my children.  I want to lose 20 lbs!  Please say a prayer with me that – with God’s help – I can do that over the next few months. 

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3 Responses to What is it about me & diets?

  1. melanie says:

    Sounds like you've got an online club going already! And I'm in.I've got my annual almost-reality check coming as I have to submit a blood test and other more shocking numbers to get my discount at Medi-share. {I say almost-reality b/c my chiro who signs for me is willing to be generous in my favor}I can't think of what it's called now either, but somewhere I have a scripture-based study that helps with seeing an affair with food for what it is. I'll email you when I find it 😀 (and then I'll reread the verses for myself)Self-control ~ and the Holy Spirit. The one is 'easier' when we yield to the second, eh? Let's pray for each other!

  2. Brenda says:

    That's exactly your answer, God! He will help you. I understand as I'm needing to lose 20 lbs. I'm not looking at the 20 however, I'm only looking at one lb. at a time. Doesn't seem so overwhelming for me. I did start today on a 9 day cleansing fast which consists of 3 days raw fruits and veggies, 3 days liquid fast including veggie broth and then again 3 days raw fruits and veggies. One other thing that has helped me psychologically speaking is The Biggest Loser program which I go over for girl night with my MIL. I think to myself if they can do it, surely I can get out and walk and cut my portions etc. Sounds crazy, but it really has motivated me. I'm also reminded of the scripture (I Cor. somewhere)that says…He will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can handle…etc. ok, not meaning to be preachy here!God bless!

  3. Marti says:

    Your post could have been written by me. I am REALLY old, but still am fighting the weight battle. I love to eat–anything. I have heard of a book or plan that centers around God and dieting. If I can find it, I will send you the name. In the meantime, prayers are with you in your struggle.

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