C is for Children …
Besides my husband, my children are the dearest people on this planet to me!! Our little family of 5 is now complete, with one sweet miscarried baby waiting for us in heaven. I had always wanted 3 or 4 children – and I got them!! That is pretty amazing considering that around 1995, we were told we had about a 30% chance of ever having a child. After a few years of medical intervention, a surgery, and my husband’s patience and love through my “crazy infertility days”, we had our first child in 1998 … followed by another in 2000! And now our bonus blessing baby in 2009.
I know most people take their responsibility as parents very seriously, and I feel that too … these gifts weren’t necessarily meant to be mine – and yet God graciously allowed me to have biological children!! As my oldest in now a teenager, I realize how fleeting our time with our children is!! The mommy guilt sets in sometimes – have I done enough? Was I the best parent I could be? Did I do too much … too little???
And no, I didn’t do enough, I wasn’t the BEST parent, I did too much and too little ……. BUT I did the best I knew how – and will continue to pray God will bless my motives and work despite my imperfect parenting. Andrew will only be with us about another 4 years … that time will go by so fast – it has made us reconsider a lot of things lately and realize that we have to make the use of these last years of having him in our home – and of the years we still have been allowed with the girls! What direction do we want to go with them – what do we want them to value and consider of most importance – what do we still want to/need to teach them … Lots to think about in the next few months about this.