Joining A Wise Woman Builds Her Home today:
When I was a teenager, my church hosted an annual “Ladies Jubilee.” Before high school graduation, I was allowed to attend this conference with my mother, and I remember being in awe during the main sessions when these beautiful, well-accessorized, put-together women would sing, speak, and encourage godly femininity. I took notes, and I envisioned myself being the perfect, godly wife and mother – just like these women – some day.
After 4 years of Bible college, I met and married a wonderful Christian man. It wasn’t long before I realized that being a godly wife was not going to come naturally or easily for me! A few years later, we welcomed our first child into our family, and despite having read every parenting book I could get my hands on, I often felt very inadequate. Instead of being an encouragement, the sermons I heard each Mother’s Day Sunday left me feeling very guilty that I just did not measure up.
After a particularly discouraging time in my life, God showed me that He did not expect me to be the PERFECT godly woman, but God wanted me to work towards godliness within the bounds of my own personality and the strengths He had given specifically to me. That didn’t mean I should disregard all the advice, counsel, and Bible truth I had been taught since I was a young girl; but it meant I should apply those truths to myself, not to who I thought I should be. Being a godly woman wasn’t a cookie cutter recipe that applied exactly the same to each person.
The following are the lessons I have since learned about being a unique, godly woman:
1. Embrace your personality.
Look at the women in your church; think about your girl friends. Some are loud and boisterous and hysterically funny; some are frugal, demure, and practical; others are quiet, calm, and timid. Just as God created people of different body types, features, and ethnicity, He gave each person a unique personality that can be channeled and used for His glory. I have often used this view for my three children. Each child is a unique individual who learns and responds so differently because of their God-given personality. God, our Heavenly Father, no doubt looks at each of us as women, mothers, and wives as a unique personality He is molding to be the Christian woman that He wants to use for His purposes.
2. Don’t compare yourself to others.
As a young lady, I only had one narrow standard of what I thought a godly woman was. I now know that a godly woman is a matter of the heart, not a matter of outward appearance and actions.
My eleven-year-old daughter is currently fascinated with the Duggar family. I once asked her if she thought the mother, Michelle Duggar, was godlier than me. If I compare myself to Mrs. Duggar, I could feel very inadequate. I obviously don’t have as many children, and our home isn’t run as structured. I get frustrated easily instead of being as seemingly calm as Mrs. Duggar is; I am certainly not as nice as she is. Thankfully, my daughter has learned that while the Duggar family has chosen to live out their Christianity in the way they believe is God’s will for them, our family has different dynamics and experiences. While we can learn principles from others, our standards should be based on what we believe is God’s will for us.
3. Define your personal godliness.
If we are living in a way that we believe is pleasing to God and are continually aware of our need for His grace and help, I think we could be content with the life, personality, and family dynamics God has uniquely given to us. While we can follow a godly woman’s example, we must be careful to not lose ourselves by trying to become someone we are not. As I have grown in my walk with the Lord, I have been able to better discern what God’s definition for my personal godliness is.
My personality, appearance, and talents are not what make me godly. It is my heart attitude towards God’s holiness that draws me closer to His plan for godliness in my own life.