Remembering Heaven

This day – May 25 – in 2003 – was my due date for our 3rd child.  As the years have gone by, the pain has lessened after the loss we experienced in mid-October of 2002 when our child entered Heaven very early, at 6-7 weeks gestation.  For some years – and probably until I was pregnant with Miriam in 2009, the months of September and October were always times I dreaded … and I think subconsciously, I knew it was that season when I was so unexpectedly – and for the only time without infertility treatment – pregnant with what we considered a miracle.  And yet, that child WAS a miracle! 

That little miracle – I believe – has been living in Heaven for over 9 years, enjoying a life free from the pain and suffering, with no sickness and sadness of this old world.  God spared him or her from all that … even while depriving us, as parents, the joy of knowing this child here on earth.  But I’m not too sad any more … I’m excited!

The older I get, the dearer Heaven becomes to me.  I have so many more friends and family members waiting for me there now than ever!!  And daily life on this planet is just so discouraging and awful sometimes … when you consider the direction even this “Christian” nation of America is going … when you see core values and morals going down the drain … when less and less people seem to want to do the right thing and look out for others more than for themselves … when comfort and the almighty dollar are more important to some than their own children’s needs.  Tolerance applies to every thing and every one except the Word of God and those who want to do what it says.  The military is shrinking and people cry for “peace” … but there isn’t a whole lot of peace that I can tell.  Not without considering God.

I am thankful for the freedoms we do have left here in America.  While the core freedoms of religion and free speech still stand, I hope we can raise a generation of Christian young people who will be responsible and godly and strong, despite all the craziness and liberality that goes on around them.  I guess I should be thankful that our little one in Heaven will never face these hard issues nor have to feel the loneliness of standing alone, if necessary, for what is right and good and true. 

I am thankful for Andrew and Anna who are turning into sweet young people who want to do what is right … and am thankful for the few years we have left with them to instill decent, moral values into them and to make sure God’s Word resides deeply in their hearts.  I am thankful for Miriam – who brings us joy after suffering loss – every day.  Even right now, she is feeding me her little play food on her plastic dishes – and she just pointed at me and said, “Mama, PRAY!” and we had to say “Thank you, Jesus, for our food.  Amen.” 

What a great reunion our family will have in Heaven when Andrew, Anna, and Miriam meet their sibling … and our family will be truly complete!  It is something I look forward to today even as I miss one child and give thanks for the 3 others. 

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4 Responses to Remembering Heaven

  1. Gina says:

    Our first child was lost at eight weeks on Valentines and I still (nine years later) have trouble getting in a celebratory mood at Valentines. There is something special about having a dear loved one, even one I barely knew, in heaven.Gina

  2. Sandra says:

    Conny, your little miracle in Heaven is playing with my two miracles :)I too suffered through 2 miscarriages and one of them was also around the October time frame, for years it haunted me, it broke my heart and I still find myself at times feeling extremely sad.But the way you think of Miriam is kinda like the way I think of my Nicholas, I never thought I would be able to have anymore children and then he came along, and now I think I probably would not have had him if I hadn't had the two miscarriage.Hugs,Sandra

  3. Amen! Our oldest daughter – Anna Vivian – has been waiting for us in Heaven since she went there at about 12 weeks gestation over 13 years ago.

  4. Ellie Rae says:

    Yes, heaven will be glorious, that's for sure, when we meet with Jesus and see loved ones. You sure are right about the state of our country and our world.

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