While there is much noise overhead as 2 men remove and install carpeting in the upstairs bedrooms, hall, and stairs, I actually am enjoying “QUIET” … My kids are working/playing at our neighbor’s house so they can be out of the way during this carpet installation.
I really am supposed to be cleaning out my closet (husband’s side – mine is clean!!) because I was informed today that they WOULD BE installing carpet in there tomorrow when they do the downstairs, I have chosen to just sit at my computer while no one is here to ask me for a drink or ask me for a snack or bug me for this-or-that. Sometimes one just has to take care of their need for solitude. It is a choice I am making today.
I’ve been talking to my kids, particularly Annie-Belle, about choices and consequences lately. Is it just mine or is age 12 just a particularly trying time when a half-child, half-teen person is experimenting with wanting to spread their wings while still having the inexperience of youth?! I have looked for the balance between allowing her to try things without my input (which often comes out as nagging) and letting her fail without my contempt. It isn’t easy. I have found I am not very patient. 😦
Another issue we are working on with A-B is getting her to think outside herself. I noticed this self-focused trait a lot when I worked at our Christian school for several years – particularly at this age and stage of junior high. Especially the girls seem to care so much about how they look or what they have or don’t have – and truthfully, I’ve noticed it some in my son too, for example, when I recently bought him some brand new clothes at a more “trendy” store that we usually don’t shop (they were having a great sale!!!). For many years Drew was very content with his hand-me-down wardrobe but our source has currently dried up; so I have been having to buy more “new” clothes to keep my son dressed properly because he is growing so stinkin’ fast right now!! And I’m finding he really likes it …
Selfishness too is a character trait I’d like to nip in the bud. And honestly, it is a character flaw I myself have struggled with very much – in marriage, in parenting, as a Christian. Dying to self is hard (for me), and I don’t like pain. I have read so many good books and blogs that promise when you forget yourself, God promises to take care of your needs … and yet, I worry that if I only ever serve others and my family that I will NEVER get my turn to rest and be served in return. How selfish does that sound!
I have had many conversations with my husband in particular about this topic of selfishness. SelfLESSness seems to come more naturally to him, so he truly is my example in this area. He says acknowledging your problem is the first step towards solving it, and thus, I am more aware of the selfish acts I commit (or selfish thoughts I think) each day. My biggest help is to STOP. Just STOP IT. To capture those thoughts, and to discard them, far away from me – and to share my fears of not being taken care of to God. (II Cor. 10:4-6)
The stop it thought came to me in the form of a HILARIOUS video on youtube shared on facebook by a friend. My family loves old sitcoms, and The Bob Newhart Show is one we don’t often get to see but find very amusing … this advice from “psychologist” Bob Newhart might solve so many of our problems: “STOP IT.”