A lament from the single ladies I know is often “There are no good guys out there!” … and I might agree – a good man is hard to find. And yes, many of them are taken. I am thankful to have had the influence of a few good men in my own life, two in particular.
My dad is not my biological dad … but he adopted me and gave me his last name, which I had for about 15 years. Most of all, he took care of me and often still does with advice, with sharing experience, with prayers. A funny coincidence – maybe a little blessing God gave to us – is that people who meet us will often say I have my dad’s blue eyes, which is incredibly ironic since my biological parents both have brown eyes.
While our relationship wasn’t always perfect, and as in any blended family, I have my own issues with feeling like I didn’t belong or feeling unequal or feeling unwanted, I know those issues are solely my own. My dad never did anything on purpose to make me feel like he didn’t want me. The older I get, the more I realize and appreciate what he did for me and how amazing it is that he loved and supported a kid that wasn’t his own. He and my mom did the best they knew how to instill good values, work ethic, and most of all God’s Word into me.
My husband is truly the first man with whom I felt unconditionally loved, probably because he is mine alone and his love was so deep that he asked to share his life with me. I think that is why I am a little jealous sometimes, particularly when I see him take care of other people … and yet, it is that caring and kindness is what drew me to him over 20 years ago. Sure, he was a good-looking, tall-dark-handsome man … but he was also incredibly kind and gentle.
In his previous life as an Army officer, his evaluations often described my husband as having “quiet leadership” or “leadership by example” or “calm under pressure” … This is the perfect balance to my crazy and my loud thoughts that overwhelm me so often. Later, as a school administrator, Daniel was often “the voice of reason”, especially when someone was making mountains out of mole hills or wanting to incorporate unrealistic expectations on a student or as a policy. His experiences with a combat support hospital in Iraq gave him perspective: if someone wasn’t dying or bleeding uncontrollably or in danger of losing a limb or eyesight, it really wasn’t that big of a deal that couldn’t be handled calmly. This even-keel demeanor makes him an excellent father, too.
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, and the last few months have really reminded me of the blessings and privilege of good men in my life, particularly my husband. And this blessing has trickled down to my children – to my son who is learning from good men how to be a good and a godly man. To my daughters who are enjoying the security of being daddy’s girls, loved and wanted so very much.
Happy Father’s Day to us … to my children and me. We are so grateful.