Quiet Day #26

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I used to be known as a “quiet” person … actually, it was quite a burden.  I honestly just didn’t know what to say – I wasn’t born with “the gift of gab”.  I really had to know you well to talk to you … Not only was I quiet, I apparently often sat with a serious look on my face.  I appeared unapproachable, I suppose.  If I had a dime for every time someone said to me:  “Smile, Conny, it can’t be that bad …”  Well, yeh, I’d be rich.

As I grew older, entered deeper into the world of Army protocol having married a soldier, I knew I had to learn to make small talk pretty quickly!  I wasn’t really good at it, but I tried.  Usually I’d find the next most uncomfortable person in the room, and we’d find a quiet corner to hang out in – at least I had an ally!

When we entered ministry and I became a church secretary, God really pushed me far out of my comfort zone.  My job was now talking to people … all the while trying to accomplish impossible amounts of paperwork at the same time with constant interruptions!!  Those 3 years that I did that full time were admittedly not my happiest, however, they were necessary.  It was a litmus test of my faith and trust!   I didn’t always pass it with flying colors, sadly … and sometimes I really resented the position God put me in.  Thankfully, after having tried me, He also provided a way for me to escape incrementally.

Now, here I am … released from many obligations to people but with a knowledge that the only way I will ever be useful much any more is to reach out and talk to people.  You’d think that at “my age” I’d finally have figured it out … and slowly, with God’s help, I am learning … but still, talking to people right now to me equals risk.  Which is ironic because writing to an entire internet world doesn’t, perhaps because I am somewhat more anonymous here, just one of a ga-billion bloggers.

What else is ironic is that despite my “quiet” tendencies – and maybe because of them – I still struggle with discretion in what I say when I finally open my mouth.  “Lord, put your one hand on my shoulder, and your other hand over my mouth!!” … I want my voice and opinions to be heard, to count, and yet, I must still remember the law of kindness.

So, there is still a place for quiet in my conversation.  There are times when I do need to keep something to myself, not voice my mind, and just keep it to myself.

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4 Responses to Quiet Day #26

  1. babstig says:

    For me god tells me to be quiet a lot of the time and to be mindful that I do. To take up the whole conversationM lol

    Sent from my iPad

  2. Love “does it improve upon the silence.”

  3. Amy says:

    Bwaahaha!

    “Usually I’d find the next most uncomfortable person in the room, and we’d find a quiet corner to hang out in – at least I had an ally!”

    I feel like this may be the story of the beginning of our friendship! I seem to remember a certain FRG meeting while the guys were deployed where we sat in the back corner and made little jokes the entire time…I’m so glad that although we didn’t see each other every day during that year that we were always there for each other when needed! It’s SO great to have introverts as friends!

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