Be warned: MiMi is “camping” with her grandparents since Sunday night – and depending on how things go, she is either coming home tomorrow or Wednesday. Her absence has left me with an incredible amount of time on my hands … and in my head!! I am somewhat at a loss even while I am enjoying my new-found freedom with only teenagers in the house (who can do EVERYTHING by themselves!!?!).
So, anyway, my brain is in overdrive … and I’ve already driven my husband crazy with this – and I have no real friends here to speak of (ie close enough friends who truly UNDERSTAND me and our situation). And so, I turn to my bloggy friends and the internet world for some writing therapy. Feel free to click away NOW.
As you know, if you follow my life’s journey, we have given notice on our rented duplex and will be moving out by July 31. We did this with NO housing prospects in sight because the property management company required a 60 day notice to move out without any of their ridiculous penalties….
And we’ve decided it is just time to rent a real house – one with a yard and no shared walls.
Spoiled American family?? Yes, we are. This duplex is small but adequate, and financially, we might should just stay put here another year. However, I long to feel settled again … in our duplex I still feel like I’m in temporary housing – which in truth I am! I want a yard and a bigger kitchen and space to spread out and a neighborhood where families live – not disabled folks on subsidized housing income and college students (which is what our neighbors on both sides are now).
It is time to move. Logical or not.
And my question is: is God obligated to go along with my materialistic choices?? How do I dare ask Him to help me with this wish??! Is this “want” on my behalf a “need” He promises to provide?
I guess I’ve never been good at asking for things … especially for things I feel like I don’t deserve. Like a nice home. Yes, my husband works hard … 50-60 hours most weeks! But moving right now really isn’t the wisest financial decision given the past few years of going backwards. However, as my very kind, understanding and benevolent husband says sometimes security and happiness is worth more than money … even while we need to learn to be content (and thankful) with what we have.
And while I know in time God WILL provide a house for us because
1. I know HE CAN.
2. As a good Father, He delights in helping us. And
3. He does answer prayer according to His will.
I also realize there are consequences for our choices. And so, I am now praying for God to SHOW US exactly what to do and where to live. And believe me, my husband isn’t near as concerned as I am, and he’s attempted to talk me down from this crazy thinking already!!
BUT from a woman’s perspective (men, leave this blog now!), do you get what I’m saying?! I just long to have a real home again … even if it means not eliminating our debts as quickly as we’d like.
Daniel says just look at our options, pray for guidance, and keep looking for open doors. Don’t mourn over the closed ones.
So, here is where I stand today: 2 perspective rentals …
What do YOU think is better:
1. an older home (built in 1980) that is *LARGE* but ugly! 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, and a finished basement.
the kitchen is big and plain but very workable.
The bathrooms are KILLING ME with ugliness but we’d have 3 of them!!
(This is the nicest looking bath!)
2. a slightly smaller home with 3 bedrooms that is newer and BEAUTIFUL!
(I have this thing for front porches …)
and stainless appliances, I just don’t feel worthy!!! LOL I don’t even have an in-freezer ice maker right now … what LUXURY!
My heart wants the PRETTY HOUSE … the newer, sparkly house! But my head says get the SPACE … a bedroom for each kid, a huge basement.
What would YOU want?! Plus what else must one consider?? My husband and I have already talked about utility costs (possibly higher for a bigger home – and the newer home has a heat pump).
Oh, and both homes are in the SAME NEIGHBORHOOD, within a 1/4 a mile of each other!! It is a great location – right in the middle of where my hubby works and our kids’ school/church … the same side of town we already live in.
AND rent is practically the same for both houses.
Oh well, I guess time will tell … if we get one house, the other, or a different home entirely!
Thanks for listening!
PS This will probably be a disappearing blog post in a few days because this isn’t exactly a post that I want to remember in the years ahead!! 😉