After three 6-hour shifts for my externship as a Pharmacy Technician this week, I have a day off!! I really like it so far … though there are times when our pharmacy was SO busy – people lined up at the front, people lined up in the drive-thru, and the telephones ringing!! I am learning from some very competent people … and the motto seems to be “Be Calm and Pharmacy On”. In school, we learned the term “pharmacy speed”, which just means moving quickly but efficiently … and I’ve seen that in action this week!! And the people I work with do it with a smile and positive attitude, which makes all the difference in a busy work environment.
The pharmacist I am working for is great – and yesterday I found out she is a Christian as well, as the tech on duty with me yesterday is her pastor’s wife!! I had a feeling she was a Christian … but you know how you can’t really ask in a “professional setting.” While I doubt I will get a job at this pharmacy, at least my externship experience has been positive so far, and the staff have all been very supportive of my efforts to learn and work with them.
So, I’m learning A LOT, and I’ve also applied for my Pharmacy Technician state license, the next step in getting ready to work in the pharmacy world. I also am incredibly thankful for a friend here who is helping me out with MiMi. She has watched her during the times when she isn’t in pre-school for very little pay. What a blessing she is available!! And her daughter is 5, so MiMi has loved being with them, too. AND I’ve avoided bigger day care expenses since I am not getting paid right now.
ANYWAY ……….. on to the heavier things of life:
Because of the upcoming changes in our lives as I enter the work world again, Daniel and I have been having some conversations about our expectations (mainly mine because I do not want to burn out again by working outside the home!). And we’ve been discussing our kids. Mainly our teenagers … and recently, the question is: have we been too easy on them??
Because I am a SAHM, I just go ahead and do a lot of stuff the kids could be doing because I like to and I like it done a certain way … and I am just glad to do it for my busy family. HOWEVER, it isn’t just that my kids aren’t doing a lot of chores (they know HOW!! but they really have a limited amount of chores they are required to do), but the question is are they taking things … and ME … and their dad for granted??
We’ve noticed some laziness and complacency on the part of one kid. This one disregards or excuses a lot of things that she is asked to do. For example, getting up in the morning. At her age, she should be doing it on her own! But we check up on her because if she runs late, we all run late. And she just putters along at her own speed. Also, with chores, she does the bare minimal, which isn’t disobedience since she does her assigned tasks, but she doesn’t do more than that. She doesn’t look around and see what else she could help with that she knows how to do (for example, a basket of laundry is in the living room for 2 days … and instead of folding it, she just moves it from one corner of the room to the other …).
Then another of our kids has decided he doesn’t like basketball any more. His goal is to get a job … which is noble and good … but he’s been playing ball for years now, and even did the conditioning work outs over the summer. We are at a point in the season, where if he was to quit, it would have to be now. We are trying to get at the crux of reason he wants to quit too … and some of it is the method that his main coach uses has the opposite effect on our son! For example, the coach will tell him he’s a terrible shooter – or he’s not giving his best at leg lifts – or he’s dribbling way too high … and by saying something negative, he’s challenging our kid to CHANGE. However, to Drew (may as well say his name!!), all he hears is that he stinks at dribbling and he’s a lousy shooter. You see, Drew THINKS he is working hard and doing his best. *sigh*
I think part of his problem is discouragement … and so at first, our inclination was to NOT let him quit. We don’t want QUITTERS in our family!! And then we got to thinking about it. Basketball is optional. If we force him to stick to it, he may be miserable all season, and so will we. He’ll never play because his coach reads his attitude. Is it fair to the team to have a negative player in their midst?? Is it fair to the coach to have to deal with our problem? So, now we are leaning towards letting him quit with the disclaimer that he MUST get a job and his grades need to be up-to-par (but we have to think up consequences if that doesn’t happen!! and that can’t be making him go play basketball again – ha!).
In conclusion, we’ve decided it comes down to 2 things for us right now: the heart and character. BUT this is where we’re questioning our failures??! I know a part of parenting is instilling GOOD character into our kids … and as Christians, it is instilling godly character. And most of all, I want my kids’ hearts!! I want them to want to do what is right because THEY want to!! But that choice – to change or not change – is up to them … not me. I can force outward obedience, but I can’t change their hearts. I can only pray to that end.
This morning, an acquaintance shared that her daughter’s (teen) best friend had taken her own life last night … and that puts my own issues into perspective. I am glad that overall, our kids seem happy and want to get good grades and enjoy life and go to church and do right. BUT I want so much more for them!! I want them to know what a life lived outside their own world is so much happier than just living for one’s self. While I have zero experience with suicide, I kind of wonder if a person isn’t self-absorbed – whether in how awful their problems are or the outward influences of, say, a bully – then suicide isn’t even an option??
Anyway … deep thoughts. I just want my kids to be ok. Which is what my husband and I are talking about right now – we can only do so much. We can lecture, we can be an example, we can apologize when we make mistakes, we can spend time with our kids, we can allow them or not allow them to do things … but ultimately, we can not control how they will turn out. There are no magic formulas, which stinks, because I am all about fair and equal cause-and-effect, and that just isn’t the case in life. We all have choices. God gave us a free will. And I’m glad He did. BUT it might be easier if kids were programmable robots?! But it wouldn’t be nearly as interesting … 😉